"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." -Dr. Seuss
I have caught myself in the middle of the"case of the broken iPhones". First, it was my pink iPhone 5c (or 5-cheap) that fell out of my hands after recording a video of my friend and I screaming on a rollercoaster ride at Six Flags. In truth, I never received my phone back but luckily, the infamous video was recovered. It's two weeks before finals and for a second time, I broke my phone. After several crashes to the ground, my phone succumbed to the "Black Screen of Death" when I was heading to my chemistry lecture earlier this week. Maybe, it was a sure sign NOT to go to my lecture. A couple of failed attempts later, I found myself at the Apple Store where I discovered that my Apple Care expired a month ago. Not having my phone for a few days felt nice because in the sense, I never had to worry about answering to a text message or do my streaks on Snapchat (but thank you, Audrey for doing them). Quite frankly, I have felt more productive than ever but my parents came to the realization I should try to get my phone fixed in case of emergencies. Thanks to my father, he had insurance to cover my repair costs so hopefully, I have a working phone in no time.
Enough talk about phones though. I am here to talk about self-care because despite everything we have going on, I believe that self-care is something that's of utmost importance. Yet, I struggle with it and quite tremendously so.
I viewed myself as a people person all throughout high school but it's as if there was a light switch over my head as soon as I entered college. The switch turned off and everything I was in high school became the opposite here in Madison. I found myself more and more closed off with everyone. As much as I fought against this, I was sucked in to this closed confinement that I couldn't find a way out of. Receiving texts and calls from my friends back home pained me terribly because I felt that it was a moral obligation to be the person I was back home even when I felt that I was no longer that person. Each day slowly became a struggle to go to classes as I forced myself out of bed. Slowly but surely, I began to feel comfortable with my routine of spending time by myself and doing homework in my own time but I realized how negatively this affected me. I have always been a closed-off person in terms of my own life; I find myself having a lot of walls around me despite my urging to help others instead of myself. I am not some kind of attention seeker - I am just someone who chooses to tell a part of their story that they really have never done before.
And it's kind of why I chose to start writing. I guess I didn't realize the impact of this blog until just recently. When I write, everything else doesn't matter. It's as if all the surrounding noises are muted except for the sounds of the keyboard being typed away. All I need are good tunes to avoid myself having writer's block. Ever heard of the concept of "mental health matters"? Well, in all actuality, I think it does! This is my safe haven - it's where I feel my true self. On the days I write, they essentially have become my 'mental health days'. I haven't had these days in a while but as I write this at this exact moment, I feel at peace with myself and it's what I needed despite everything that has happened in the last couple of weeks. I don't know who my readers are but to whoever they are, take care of yourself first before anything else. ♡, Yui
P.S. I may not be able to write in the next week or two because of finals but as soon as I get back, I will start writing again. The official countdown is on: 12 more days till home!!
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