"Ultimately the bond of all companionship, whether in marriage or in friendship, is conversation." -Oscar Wilde
Thanksgiving is the one day of the year where you are inclined to give thanks as you sit amongst others around the dining table, feasting on the endless selection of side dishes and of course, the pumpkin pie. Despite this cliché, it is rather appropriate of me to state who I am thankful for. Is it the friends who have supported me through the rigors of high school? Is it my sister who likes to bombard my phone with texts and GIFs? Perhaps, it’s to my friends that I have made during my first semester here at UW-Madison. But if I announce the list of people I am thankful for, it’s just going to be like any other article: endless run-on paragraphs of me explaining who I am thankful for. Clearly, that’s not what I am striving for. What I am about to tell you, I choose to not remember. More-so, I choose to avoid all memories associated with it, but it helped me gain a strong friendship because deep inside, I would do anything for this person. Literally anything.
It was on the Ides of March: I wished I had a fair warning like Julius Caesar did. The words of “After careful consideration, I regret to inform you…” cemented every nerve racing across my body. I didn’t need to finish reading the rest for I knew that I did not get in. The thoughts of donning on the colors of purple and gold at the football games completely left my mind, leaving me behind in a state of emptiness and darkness. I was submerging myself into this realm of confusion as I left my immobilized body of which minutes before, I was checking my application status through the portal. No, refreshing the website did not change anything. All I asked to myself was what I could have done better.
I longed for the presence of my family that night but they were away that weekend for my brother’s soccer tournament. Their phone calls of assuring me that it was okay just left marks upon me as I was holding back tears. I yearned to tell someone but no one was around me. However, my friend asked to go out for ice cream later that night. Guaranteed to always have a good time with her, I said yes. The contemplation of whether I should tell her or not was killing me. Can I hold myself together and act like I am having a good time? Knowing me, I probably couldn’t.
Upon meeting her, words slipped out of my mouth and so did the tears. The trigger of emotions inside me were unleashed as she embraced me in a hug and cried alongside with me. The daily conversations of our future lives consisted of what Broadway shows she will watch during her time at NYU or the cafés I will come across while studying in Seattle but they all disintegrated. Those “what-ifs” became the extinction of our lives and in that moment, all we had were each other because coincidentally, both our families were gone that night. Despite our episode of crying and hugging, it did not stop us from getting ice cream and sharing stories of which to this day, we continue to remind each other of what happened.
“...I know I will eventually end up where I am supposed to be, and so will you.” -Karisa Toy
I still remember when I didn’t know where to go; I had several choices but it could not suffice the fact that I wanted to go to my dream - now rejected - school. My sudden change of heart was the result of Karisa’s post on her social media platform. I recall sharing the caption with my mother and halfway through, I broke down because I wanted to have the same strength and courage as her. Even now, the emotions strike me because even with the 4,150 miles between us, I know that I will always have her support.
Coming to Wisconsin was not something I envisioned but for once in my life, I am satisfied and content in my decision to attend UW-Madison. I have met some of the most down to Earth individuals of which I am so grateful to call them my friends. It leaves me with nothing but excitement for what’s to come in terms of my academics and having the opportunity to live with my closest friend next year. I have this idea in mind that things were meant to be this way because who knows if I would have discovered my passion in writing and starting this blog with Karisa.
Oftentimes, we complain about baby strollers at Disneyland and there are the occasional circumstances of eavesdropping on a lady’s conversation about her obsession of Canadian donuts to the time when we freaked out in the middle of the restaurant because Ken Jeong was sitting right next to us - it’s the initiation of the conversations that I will continue to remember and be thankful for. I am counting down the days until I visit you in Paris over spring break but in the meantime, I shall continue brainstorming ideas with you for our blog over Facetime (might I also add that the WiFi is pretty terrible in Paris). And Karisa, thank you for being your best self, but also, thank you for allowing me to become the person I am today. ♡
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